thank you for the lushness and honesty of this sharing. I once went back to the house i grew up in on farmland and its four rooms.. The people knew my "dad" so they let me in. HORRIFIED i smiled as they showed me the ugliest paneling and indoor outdoor carpeting.. I managed to say nice things; yet when i got back in the car i wept and never revisited a home i inhabited again.
Oh. Wow. That's an amazing story! I love it. It's about ownership, too, right? The people who take over the places we loved are in their right to redesign them as they see fit, but it hurts so much when they do. Nate and I always photograph the places we live in before moving out, trying to capture that moment in our lives. It's as close as one gets to being able to "owning" that space afterwards.
I was born in this house in 1942 during the war and my parents rented the downstairs of a typical cedar shaker home on a 300 acre farm; even though they didn't farm.. I thought it was paradise as i grew older as there was a stream and a pond to explore and a barn of milking cows. I went back when i was 50 and the bittersweet of the people's pride and happiness and my overwhelm of having not gotten to see it as it once was again. I recently moved from an apartment I lived in for twenty years and did just that; photographed every inch of it; especially the gardens i created. Ownership is like a bird building their nest to lay their eggs only to leave it shortly after the babies fledge. They just fly away without tears. I am developing that resilience hopefully. Non attachment is a lifelong aspiration of mine.
Yes! Like nests! I love that analogy. I think you're right that they don't think twice about leaving. But for us... oof. And leaving a garden is so hard! Those are living beings you raised and loved. I hope the new owners enjoy them. And, yes, we need to work on non-attachment. I try... as with you, it's an ongoing project.
Loved reading about your recent experiences with revisiting the past and finding hope in new creative ideas—I can't wait to hear more about Ori and Rima!
Thanks! We'll see where they take us. Hopefully somewhere fabulous. Also, maybe someday you'll get to come back to Pitt and run into your former self. I'm sure she'll be thrilled with you!
Loved this post, Alexandra! Definitely made me think about revisiting places I haven't been in ages, school or otherwise, and how each time, you're a different person. It's even something I touch on in the book I wrote (which you are very familiar with!).
And which is coming out in just a few weeks! I can't wait to join you in that journey. Thanks, Nina. And you're absolutely right, we change and the places change too. What a useful thing to ponder!
So many emotions reading this post. That Naropa version of you would be over the moon with what you've accomplished and will accomplish. I guarantee it.
thank you for the lushness and honesty of this sharing. I once went back to the house i grew up in on farmland and its four rooms.. The people knew my "dad" so they let me in. HORRIFIED i smiled as they showed me the ugliest paneling and indoor outdoor carpeting.. I managed to say nice things; yet when i got back in the car i wept and never revisited a home i inhabited again.
Oh. Wow. That's an amazing story! I love it. It's about ownership, too, right? The people who take over the places we loved are in their right to redesign them as they see fit, but it hurts so much when they do. Nate and I always photograph the places we live in before moving out, trying to capture that moment in our lives. It's as close as one gets to being able to "owning" that space afterwards.
I was born in this house in 1942 during the war and my parents rented the downstairs of a typical cedar shaker home on a 300 acre farm; even though they didn't farm.. I thought it was paradise as i grew older as there was a stream and a pond to explore and a barn of milking cows. I went back when i was 50 and the bittersweet of the people's pride and happiness and my overwhelm of having not gotten to see it as it once was again. I recently moved from an apartment I lived in for twenty years and did just that; photographed every inch of it; especially the gardens i created. Ownership is like a bird building their nest to lay their eggs only to leave it shortly after the babies fledge. They just fly away without tears. I am developing that resilience hopefully. Non attachment is a lifelong aspiration of mine.
Yes! Like nests! I love that analogy. I think you're right that they don't think twice about leaving. But for us... oof. And leaving a garden is so hard! Those are living beings you raised and loved. I hope the new owners enjoy them. And, yes, we need to work on non-attachment. I try... as with you, it's an ongoing project.
Oh wow! I would LOVE to visit my childhood home but now I know I’d have to prepare for the worst
Love this! So excited for your new project!
Thanks! Fingers crossed it will become a reality this summer. We'll see!
Loved reading about your recent experiences with revisiting the past and finding hope in new creative ideas—I can't wait to hear more about Ori and Rima!
Thanks! We'll see where they take us. Hopefully somewhere fabulous. Also, maybe someday you'll get to come back to Pitt and run into your former self. I'm sure she'll be thrilled with you!
Loved this post, Alexandra! Definitely made me think about revisiting places I haven't been in ages, school or otherwise, and how each time, you're a different person. It's even something I touch on in the book I wrote (which you are very familiar with!).
And which is coming out in just a few weeks! I can't wait to join you in that journey. Thanks, Nina. And you're absolutely right, we change and the places change too. What a useful thing to ponder!
So many emotions reading this post. That Naropa version of you would be over the moon with what you've accomplished and will accomplish. I guarantee it.
She'd certainly be thrilled by our love. That's for sure!